Thursday, November 27, 2008

Sex and getting Drunk

The same goes for him. That is why Martini is a richer company than Rolls Royce Motor Cars. But there is a down side for him. If you get him too drunk, he won't be able to perform in bed. Drooping dick is the most common side effect of drunkenness. For a woman it can cause post sex shame, and depression. It’s also the biggest killer of relationships in the history of Holy Wedlock and the biggest killer of road users too. That’s three great reasons to control the alcohol. And I mean great reasons, not little excuses. Don’t be a fool to yourself.

It isn't a good idea to get too drunk for a woman either, though it might allow you to do things you wouldn't normally do. But you know as all women do that you may think you have maximum deniability afterwards, you always remember everything and you have to pretend you don’t. That kind of secrecy causes problems of a psychological nature as you have to start feeling ashamed of the fact that you enjoyed him going down on you, or wanking himself all over your tits, or rubbing his cum all over your body ... all under the pretense that you don’t remember him being so dirty.

The answer is, don’t get drunk, don’t let him get drunk, and then do it anyway, remember it and enjoy remembering it. He wants to do these things to you and he may be shy, so ask him. And if he is too scared to say yes and do it, then you can help him. He might call you a dirty little bitch to his friends but he will be back for more. Count on it. You win and so does he. Truth is a win-win scenario in bed. Be accountable in bed and you open the floodgates to the world of sexual experimentation and gratification. Then you can get your name off the list of women who have never cum in bed with a man. And if you are not on that list now, then multiple orgasms with a man should be the next thing on your list of sexual accomplishments with your chosen partner. And if you have accomplished that, then anything I may say here is just grist to the mill; so enjoy!!! Alcohol, the wine, beer, cocktails, shorts, all good fun - in small doses. If you are getting out of your head every night, and getting pissed every time to get laid then you need a counselor.

I mean that with all sincerity and seriousness. If its like that for you, then get help and quickly. The only person you are hurting is you in the end, and you want to sort it out before you hurt anyone else. Believe it or not the same goes for abusing coffee. Like alcohol it can awaken the moody, aggressive, short-tempered side of any one, men and women. We are all coffee drunk in our offices ands it makes us bitchy. The trouble with coffee, good coffee is that it smells divine. I just wish smelling the coffee was enough. Tea however if you are a hot drink caffeine junky (like me) is safer. And herbal tea makes you a saint. If you are already an herbal tea lady, good for you. Your blood is going to be a lot less toxic, you are going to smell a lot nicer, most of your health problems are going to evaporate faster than you think, and your breath will never smell. It will also make your vaginal juices less acidic, and therefore your lover’s cock less likely to get sore on marathon sessions in bed. That is worth remembering.

There is wisdom in the old goat yet. And while we are having a rat about bad habits, we may as well let you in on the down side of smoking for a man (and for a woman). But for a man, apart from making him less of an athlete in bed as he would be if he didn’t smoke, apart from making him less smelly under the arms (I bet you didn’t know that smoking effects under arm body odor did you?), and party from making him virtually unkissable, it also increases his chances of losing an erection, especially if he is over 40. Erectile dysfunction, or drooping penis is a by-product of cigarette and cigar smoking. It is not a woman’s problem, but every woman should know that it is a man’s problem. Sure, some men are more highly sexed than others and smoking just doesn’t affect them in bed. But no man is free of the side effects completely. Fortunately for men, the wonder drug from Pfizer, called Viagra, has practically solved erectile dysfunction in men, and that is going to be good for all women. What we women want is a drug that will make orgasms easier to reach. A Viagra for women.

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