Thursday, November 27, 2008

How to turn him on

So let’s debunk a few outmoded preconceptions that actually work against us in bed. Here’s the first misconception that we have to change.

The way to a man's heart is NOT through his Stomach but through his penis. What is being advocated here is not that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That is baloney. It might have been true in the eighteenth century. But not in the twenty first century. The way to man's heart is through his cock. Every woman should know that. It might turn him on if he knows you know that! He is more likely to be interested in your cooking after he has tasted the flesh, rather than the other way round. Only a foolish woman would think that she can tempt her man into bed with a home cooked meal.

That is just an excuse to get him into bed. Besides, no man can perform at his best on a full stomach, so be careful filling him up. Instead of sexual gymnastics, you might find a fat lump sleeping on your couch digesting his dinner throughout the night. Better to have him a bit hungry. Eat afterwards is the best plan. Sex first, food later. Remember, food is no substitute for sex in a man’s mind. Full stomach equals bad sex. The scientific reason for that is simple: the blood that should be flowing into his cock making it nice and stiff and hard and capable of penetration will be diverted to his stomach instead to digest the steak and eggs or whatever you cooked him. Greasy, fatty food should be out anyway.

So let’s break this down into a simple set of rules which is we can learn them, engrave them onto our makeup mirrors, or paste them into our purses, and never forget, we might get to the foreplay stage, and then to bed and then to the all consuming orgasm, and for us sorry old birds that want to marry one of them, even to the alter-leading him steadfastly by his beautiful cock of course. His wallet comes later. So here goes:

RULE NUMBER ONE

No heavy food before sex, but a promise of something good to eat later on. The second reason for abstaining from the food- first- sex -after mistake is that food is like sex. If the appetite for food is satiated in him, he may not want to have sex at all. The hunter- killer instinct in him has been fed so to speak. A hungry man is more aggressively sexual in bed. He has something to play for. Unconsciously he wants to prove something to you and to himself. He will be more ravenous in bed if he is a bit hungry. Not too hungry. If he needs energy, an energy drink is the answer. There are plenty to choose from. No wine. He will want to sleep. What woman doesn't want to know she has been well and truly "loved" in the sack? It is what Mama and Papa will never tell you, but what every honest woman knows.

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