He will think you are really enjoying it and that will make him feel good. If you are not enjoying yourself but making him think you are then you are a fool, and you are cheating both of you. Don’t order him about to do this and that because that will make him think he can’t arouse you. That is a downer, an ego drop, a smack on his fragile machismo, which if he is in his self esteem properly he won’t have much of (don’t expect any man not to have machismo by the way. If you come across a healthy, fit, specimen with no machismo he is probably a god looking for a goddess…could that be you?) He might also think you are a control freak and we can’t have that either. No man wants to be controlled unless he is a weirdo. Yes, there are plenty of those weirdos out there, too. No woman really likes to be controlled. “Loved” yes, but not controlled.
Controlling others as a way of getting off is a sure sign of a distinct lack of self worth. It means in psychological parlance that you don’t think a lot of yourself and even less of him. That is a relationship that will hit the wall sometime. And definitely a no-no as a place to start. So nix on the control, freak tactics. It’s a false start. Instead: Let him explore, let him find you there, he will if he is made welcome to. That part is up to you. He is not going down on you for any other reason than to turn you on. It turns him on too. You can be sure of that. And if you are a tasty dish down there he will want to stay for the second and the third orgasm and believe me, if he stays for seconds and thirds, then when he penetrates you, you are likely to go into the wave after wave orgasm and pass out from sexual satiation like Barabarella. That is the Holy Grail and you just claimed it. If he is that good, then you should lavish your womanly virtues on him in full measure. He deserves it and he has earned it! He is what you would call a very talented conversationalist.
That is to say, he is good at using his tongue to express himself. It should take you about three quarters of an hour. But remember, The Parthenon in Greece wasn’t built in a day, so you might have to work at it and not be discouraged. It is a Process. Rarely do one-night stands reach those heights of empathic felicities, and if they do, you will be shagging each other regularly. But by and large, practice makes perfect. In other words, sexual satisfaction and prowess is a process. Get interested in the Process.
RULE NUMBER FIVE: THE PROCESS OF ORGASM
He is going to cum anyway, whether he wanks himself secretly in the bathroom later, or after he wakes up, or lying beside you. The average man can get to orgasm in anything between thirty seconds to ten minutes. The average woman is more likely to take ten minutes to an hour to get to those dizzy heights, but as I said, the peak you reach in sexual ecstasy is nine times higher than his, and can be nine times nine higher.
Isn’t that a really wonderful fact? It is a heavenly fact. It has been a secret closely guarded for thousands of years. A coveted secret of the Goddesses for Millennia. It is a mythological secret. But it is actually a physiological fact. It’s a big tantric secret and we just let you in on it. It will be natural for you to take a whole lot longer so don’t for heaven’s sake think you have to be in a hurry. If he is on Viagra count yourself lucky because his hard on is guaranteed regardless of whether he thinks he needs it or not. Patience. We are all being let out of the sexual cages. This little booklet is just helping you with the keys. It is a process. Everything is a process. Learn your process. Let me repeat that. Learn YOUR process. I mean each woman has her own process. All women’s processes are similar, but none are identical. So there are no rules for the process other than the fact it is unique to you.