I think I have a pretty good idea about myself, but I'm the kind of person who always wants to know more, to gain some further insights, or maybe I just want…validation.
Anyway, recently someone emailed me the following test. (Since no copyright for the test was included in the email, I am unable to give credit to anyone) Usually I'm too skeptical about them or too busy to take them, but this test intrigued me. So I got out my paper and pen (do not use a pencil with an eraser - it's much too tempting to change one of those answers) and took the test. My score will be revealed at the end of this column.
Do you have a good idea and sense about yourself? Is the person you think you are and the image you project in dating the same? In dating and in relationships, I can't stress enough the importance of knowing of knowing who and what you are.
Take the Test
See if you are you who you think you are
As you take this test, remember to answer the 10 questions according to who you are now...not who you were in the past.
1. When do you feel your best?
a in the morning
b during the afternoon & early evening
c late at night
2. You usually walk
a fairly fast, with long steps
b fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d less fast, head down
e very slowly
3. When talking to people you
a stand with your arms folded
b have your hands clasped
c have one or both your hands on your hips
d touch the person to whom you are talking
e play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with
a your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b your legs crossed
c your legs stretched out or straight
d one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with a
a big, appreciative laugh
b laugh, but not a loud one
c quiet chuckle
d sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you
a make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b quietly enter, looking around for someone to know you
c make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working hard, concentrating and you're interrupted.
a You welcome the break
b You feel extremely irritated
c You vary between there two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a red or orange
c yellow or light blue.
e dark blue or purple
g brown or gray
9. In bed, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie:
a stretched out on your back
b stretched out face down on your stomach
c on your side, slightly curled
d with your head on one arm
e with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are
b fighting or struggling
c searching for something or somebody
d flying or floating
e you usually have dreamless sleep
f your dreams are always pleasant
How to score point:
1. a 2 b 4 c 6
2. a 6 b 4 c 7 d 2 e 1
3. a 4 b 2 c 5 d 7 e 6
4. a 4 b 6 c 2 d 1
5. a 6 b 4 c 3 d 5 e 2
6. a 6 b 4 c 2
7. a 6 b 2 c 4
8. a 6 b 7 c 5 d 4 e 3 f 2 g 1
9. a 7 b 6 c 4 d 2 e 1
10. a 4 b 2 c 3 d 5 e 6 f 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as a clever, gifted, or talented, but modest and not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
How did you do on the test? Any surprises or do you have a good sense about yourself? Did you like the test results? Is the person you think you are and the image you project the same? If the answer is yes, good for you. If the answer is no, then you have a little inner work to do.
As I said at the beginning of this column, in dating and in relationships it is critical that you know who you are. And, it is equally critical that you also accepting yourself for who and what you are. This knowing and accepting is self-love. And self-love means loving yourself "warts" and all.
Without self-love, it's not possible to have very much self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance. And without those, it's impossible to have good relationships and attract healthy people into our lives. So you see, everything in our world begins and ends with "self." (Perhaps the LA mantra "it's all about me" really has some truth to it.)
The formula is to know yourself, accept yourself and treat yourself really well. Use this formula to establish a standard by which to measure your relationships. Once you know and accept yourself, you can observe your own behavior when you're dating or in a relationship and ask yourself this question, "Am I being who I really am? Am I being my authentic self?" And ask yourself, "Am I treating myself and is my partner treating me the way I want to be treated?" It's a very useful formula for dating and relationships to help you stay true to you.
I believe it's really important to know who we really are. I hope that by taking this little test you gained some more insight into yourself. Once you know yourself, then it's your job in dating and in relationships to play up your assets and down play your deficits. As my favorite Wizard of Oz character The Cowardly Lion once said, "What do they got that I ain't got?"
And of course the answer is "Courage." It takes courage to accept who you are and confidence to let everyone else see that person.
So the next time some one asks you "Who do you think you are?" Tell them and be sure to do it with an attitude of confidence, vulnerability and authenticity.
For those of you who want to know how I did on this test, my score was 49.