Saturday, April 12, 2008

What Makes Someone Sexy?

After seeing the delightfully funny movie Bridget Jones's Diary and Renee Zellweger's portrayal of an overweight, thirty-something, klutzy, often less than poised woman, desperate to find true love, I thought about the question of what really makes someone sexy.

Bridget Jones is not someone who would grace the cover of any woman's magazine and she certainly wouldn't make heads turn the way supermodels do. But there was something absolutely endearing about her that made her irresistible, charming and sexy. And it wasn't the fact that she was paper thin or had the perfect figure, wore the latest hip fashion, had the right hairstyle and make-up, knew the appropriate "lines" to say to a man, or looked like she had just stepped out of a magazine. Because, the truth of the matter is she had none of these things. What Bridget had going for her was…she was Bridget. And that made her sexy, attractive, irresistible and a man magnet.

What is sexy in a woman? She

* Feels good about her femininity
* Radiates sexiness
* Feels womanly and it shows in how she looks
* Glows
* Is approachable
* Is feminine
* Has self-confidence and self-acceptance that helps make her approachable
* Is vulnerable and real
* Is a lady
* Is "not" an alpha female

An alpha female is usually a woman who looks like a woman but acts like a man. She often "seems" sexy because she knows how to look and dress, and she is definitely smart and successful, but she's so busy trying to take control and direct everything and everyone and is used to taking on the world in a professional and masculine way, that she's forgotten to be her feminine self.

An alpha female is all woman, but I think she has forgotten how to be a lady. Here's one definition of a lady - a woman who lets a man be a gentleman. Bridget Jones is definitely a lady. If you're an alpha female and you've forgotten how to be feminine, take my alpha female class.

What is sexy in a man? He:

* Is masculine
* Is a gentleman
* Protects, provides for and serves a woman
* Exudes a confidence that he is responsible

Sean Connery, Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan, and Ben Affleck are great examples. Okay, they are great looking, that's true. But there are lots of men who are great looking but don't ooze the same kind of sexiness that these men have. To women, these guys are sexy because they know that these men will take of the situation - no matter what it is. A woman needs to be feel safe, cherished and protected by her man. She needs to know it's okay for her to be vulnerable; that her man will "accept her" for who she is and will love her no matter what. A man who evokes those feelings in a woman will not only be her hero, but in her eyes, the sexiest man alive.

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