Thursday, April 17, 2008

Q & A: "She keeps staring and looking me straight in the eyes"

Q: You say give love? I gave and receive nothing except emotional pain. - Hurting

Dear Hurting, I know how painful this time must be for you. Sometimes when we open our hearts, they get stomped on. But if you stop giving love, you'll never receive love. Close your fist for a moment. Pretend it is your heart. As long as it is closed, nothing can ever come in. Think of what your life would be like without love. No open your fist and imagine what your life could be like filled with love. The next time you decide to give your love, choose a more worthy person.

Q: I am 18 years old and I l like this girl in my school. I have been crazy about her because of they way she looks at me. She keeps staring and looking me straight in the eyes. She smiles and sometimes she looks back and smiles when she is with her friend. Every time I am around her she stares at me like I am a ghost or something. Give me some advice. What does this mean? -18 and Clueless

Dear 18 and Clueless,
She's flirting with you. She is giving you feminine signals that she is friendly territory - so it's okay to go over and talk to her. She won't bite off your head or reject you.

What does this all mean? The bottom line is that it means she likes you. So take a breath and step up to the plate and ask her out. Good luck. I know you'll do fine.

Q: I am a very feminine woman. By that I mean that I dress feminine and conduct myself in stereotypical ways (which would appall feminists). My problem is that I find men today aren't as masculine as I would like. I have had a few men not pay for first dates, not open doors, in short, not treat me like a lady! Needless to say, it did not last.

Do you think young men today have lost all these wonderful, masculine qualities? You've said it time and time again: women want to be cherished. Any thoughts? - I Think I'm Feminine

Dear I Think I'm Feminine,
I don't think men have lost their wonderfully male and masculine traits. I think they still have them and it's up to us to elicit it in them.

We need to talk - I can't believe that you allowed a man to treat you other than the lady and Queen Bee that you are.

You need some advice and some coaching. Being feminine is not based on what you wear, but rather who you are and how you "BEE." It seems men are reacting to you instead of responding to you.

Q: There is this guy and his name is Mike. I really like him and he's already told me that he likes me. I think I like him to but he acts all mean in front of his friends and it hurts me. What do I do? -Likes Me but Acts Mean

Dear Likes Me but Acts Mean,
Mike is afraid of peer pressure. When the two of you are alone, let him know that YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT WHEN HE ACTS MEAN TO YOU. Don't tell him that he hurts your feelings - because he can't. Only you can hurt your own feelings. Don't make him wrong. Remember my 3Cs - you never want to criticize, condemn or conquer a guy. If you make him wrong, he won't listen because his pride and ego will get in the way. Instead, let him know how you feel and that it's not okay for him to be mean to you. If he values you he will act differently. If he acts mean, withdraw but don't cut him off totally. Give him a chance to redeem himself. He's a guy and needs your feminine energy but, at the same time, draw a line in the sand and don't cross it. People will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.

Q: I have known this guy for a while and we finally are both single. I found out that he was interested in me so I decided to take the ball in my court and asked him out. He was flattered. In the past I have never been aggressive, in fact timid. Now it seems like we have clicked but how do I get him to pursue me now that I have started the ball rolling?
I get good vibes from him yet I have been hurt before and I am scared that it will happen again. It has been a week since our first date. -Made the First Move - Now What

Dear Made the First Move - Now What,

How you start a relationship is usually how the two of you wind up in a relationship. By taking the ball in your court and asking him out, you did his job for him. He has no incentive now that you've taken on the Wannabe role.
What should you do now? Back off and let him be the guy.

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