Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Q & A: "My boyfriend does not kiss me"

Q: I am losing my job tomorrow and trying to decide if I should take another $6.50/hr job or if I should go to hair school for the big bucks. It will take me 7.5 months to complete with no possibility of a social life. Should I sacrifice for a bigger gain or do the regular thing everybody else is doing?

A: This is your life. One of the biggest problems we have is worrying about, or trying to do what everybody else is doing. Go for it! Go for it with gusto!
7.5 months isn't a long time to invest in yourself and the rewards at the end will be great. You will have to make time for a social life and if you can't, don't sweat it. Socializing doesn't pay the bills.

Q: My boyfriend does not kiss me or go down on me...he used to when we first met (1 year ago) but only 1 year later all I get now is a peck once in a while and there is absolutely no necking or kissing during lovemaking.
He says it is laziness... I say I need to kiss as part of my needs during lovemaking. I have spoke with him several times and don't even want to bring up the subject any more because it causes much tension. Is this really a matter of laziness or lack of passion on my boyfriend's part for me?

He'll only go down on me if I practically beg and that certainly takes any enjoyment out of it for me. It's been several months now since I've had a good long tongue wrapping kiss and haven't felt anything between my legs (except for...) in just as long....I need some objective advice please!

A: If he isn't kissing, or going down on you, he may be kissing and going down on someone else. You don't need advice, you need a backbone. Settle for less, and you'll get less every time.
Don't sit there afraid to bring this important issue up. Pressure breaks pipes. Girl, you've got to break it down for his ass. Let him know, either he will kiss you, and go down on you (without you having to beg him) or you will dump his ass and hook up with a man who will. WHOOMP! There it is!


Q: I MET A GUY ON THE INTERNET. HE IS GREAT. WE ARE GOING TO MEET OVER THE HOLIDAYS. DO YOU THINK IT IS SAFE? I KNOW ALREADY WE SHOULD MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE. WE HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR A MONTH EVERYDAY AT LEAST2-3 HOURS A DAY. HE IS A WONDERFUL MAN. ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING I SHOULD MENTION HE LIVES IN A DIFFERENT STATE THAN I DO.

A: I won't say it is, or isn't safe to finally meet your internet friend in person. I will say thousands (including myself) have successfully done it.
I would suggest that he visit you in your state, and when you actually meet, you bring a friend along.

Your comments concern me. "He is great." "He is a wonderful man." While these claims may be true, remember, you do not know this man. You know only what he has told you.

Gather as much personal information about him as possible, and be certain that a friend or family member has a copy of it. Verify his home phone number with the telephone company. Does the address match the one he provided you with?

This guy may be great. He may be the man of your dreams. I've said it a million times, there are some great people online --- unfortunately, there are some bad ones too.

Q: I'm a 29 year old female and have fallen in love with a 19 year old guy. He's very mature and we have a lot in common. I want to pursue a serious relationship with him, but the age difference at times makes me uncomfortable. Help! Be honest, I can take it! Thanks!

A: I bet it does make you uncomfortable, Chelsea the Molester!
Now you know damned well I will NOT condone adults falling in love with children. I don't care how mature you say he is, or how much you say you have in common with him --- you are an adult, he is a child.

If you really love this guy, you'll leave him alone for the next two years until he becomes of age.

Q: I really, really like this guy and I have a problem. Everytime I try to tell him, I can't seem to say it. I have no guts what-so-ever and I am terrified of rejection. He is one of my good friends and I'm getting mixed signals as to whether or not he likes me. I see him everyday in my everyday situations and there's no way I can avoid him. Should I say something to him, risking rejection and possibly to ruin our friendship, or should I take a different approach? Please help!

A: There is nothing to it, but to do it! I've successfully used this line before: "I've got two tickets to the movies and I'd like you to join me --- not only as a friend, but as a date. What are your thoughts?"
O.K. There's a chance that he will say yes, and there is a chance that you may be rejected. Rejection is a part of life. Miss Missy, get some guts --- you just might get a guy --- you will NEVER know until you try.

Q: I've been single for a long time let's say 3 years, and I'm finding the ladies are just not even worth it anymore. I mean I'm not gay or anything like that, I love the black woman, but they are just gone to far with this attitude stuff.

I find it difficult to converse with them on any level, but I don't want to stoop to any level. I need advice on how to deal them now and in the future, because I want to marry and have children soon, I really don't understand them anymore.

Black woman are so into material things than men or about sports. I know the one is out there for me, but just where?

A: First of all Mr. You, you need to check yourself because you're wrecking yourself. Your comments about Black Women being materialistic are --- lame. There are materialistic women in all races, excuse the hell out of you!

There is no *secret* or *special* way to deal with them. In life, you usually get what you give, so you may want to take a long, hard look at the man in the mirror. Could it be that he that has the attitude problem? Hmmm...

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