Thursday, April 17, 2008

Q & A: "Is This Just About Sex?"

Q: I have a little problem. There was this guy, who I used to say hi & have small talk with. Recently he said he would like the opportunity to know me better. Our first two encounters were cool, but then we had sex. The sex was so mind-blowing I really didn't care if he called me back or not (but you know secretly I really wanted him to call). A couple of days after our encounter I received a voicemail from him saying that I better not have lost respect for him, blah, blah, blah. So, we went out a couple time after that, and had sex again (just once). He calls me, we talk, but I'm wondering if it's just a sex thing, or is he really interested? He's extremely handsome and attractive as hell. What lady wouldn't want to get with him. I really like him, but I'm trying to play it cool. Does this new friendship have potential to blossom into something more? Is he really interested in me? -Is This Just About Sex

Dear Is This Just About Sex,
Are you sure you're interested in dating or friendship with this man? Sounds to me that you're just interested in "a close encounter." Do you always sleep with your friends and make them your bosom buddies?

You want to find out if he's really interested in you, then close your legs and instead of spending time getting to know each other's bodies, spend time getting to know each
other.


Q: I am very interested in a guy I met about a month ago. He is the first guy in a couple of years that has made me look twice. We have only been on one official date and the other few times were spent with his two children whom he has custody of. (They are great kids and we get along just fine.) I am 36 and do not have children. I am accustomed to having the freedom to go and have fun whenever I choose. My problem is that I have recently turned down several offers to date other guys that have more time to spend with me. Should I "hold out" for this one guy or start having a social life again?-So Many Men


Dear So Many Men,
I can appreciate the fact that you really like this guy but you've only had one date with him. You haven't been drafted yet, so you're still a free agent. No one's forcing you to turn down these other guys. The bigger issue is that the guy you like has a significantly different lifestyle than you. He shares his life with his kids. You have only you, so you're free to do what you want when you want. You can be self-absorbed and totally self-involved, which you seem to be. He can't. He's responsible for two other lives and is trying to juggle a lot of balls in the air.

When he calls and asks you out, tell him how much you admire and respect his ability to handle all these things effectively and still have time to see you. Let him know that you enjoy the time you two have together. In the meantime, go out with those other guys, get a puppy to fill your time, or better yet - do some volunteer work and get outside yourself.


Q: I hope you can help me. A few years ago, I met my "dream" girl. She is beautiful yet mysterious in a way. We went out on a few dates and then our shyness for one another pulled us apart. I ended up moving to a neighboring state. Now we write all the time... but the whole time I've known her, I could never tell if she really liked me. We kissed when we first met and when I write her, she writes me back the same day. We are both going to be moving nearby each other again in the future. She is all I ever think about but never can seem to get her. What do I do?-Waiting For a Sign


Dear Waiting For a Sign,
Didn't you learn anything from September 11th? There are no guarantees. All you have is today. Stop waiting for your life to begin. This is your life right now. It's up to you to decide how you want to live it.

Let her know how you feel. What's the worst thing that can happen? She'll say she doesn't feel the same way. What's the best thing that can happen? You won't know that until you try. Perhaps your dreams will come true and you'll get the girl! In any event, you'll know and finally have some peace of mind. Don't let your shyness get in the way of potential happiness. I say "Make the call…now!"

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