Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Q & A: "Boyfriend is urging me to have sex"

Q: Me and my man have been going together for 5 months. When I tell Him that I love him he would say it back but it sounds like he doesn't mean it.
I hardly see him. Should I dump him. What should I do?

A: You should sloooow down. 5 months isn't a long time. He may tell you he loves you just to shut you up.
You hardly ever see him. Now that's a problem. I don't suggest dumping him immediately, give him a chance to explain himself. If his explanation sounds shady, it probably is. If the communication and trust is totally gone, kick his ass to the curb.

Q: I have this boyfriend who is urging me to have sex when I am not ready! I love him but he says he will leave me if I don't! Help!

A: Do not have sex with him. He isn't interested in you, he's interested in sex. I'll bet he has told you "if you don't give it to me, I'll get it somewhere else." Let his ass do just that.
Don't wait for him to leave you, leave him. Your body is not a bargaining chip.

Q: Hi, I am French. My girlfriend, whom I've met 3 weeks ago is American. I'm very fond of her. The problem is that she doesn't want to have sex(penetration) before wedding, although she proposes to do things like oral pleasure. I don't understand her at all, and I think our relationship can't be well balanced.
Sex is certainly not the only thing which matters for me, but it's something that is needed as a couple. I tried to explain that to her, but she doesn't understand me. Sleeping with a girl that I desire and not being allowed to make love with her is driving me crazy! What do you think I should do?

A: Stop sleeping with her until you marry her, duh!
Perhaps you have no intention of marrying her. Well, she has made it crystal clear honey. No wedding ring, no sex. You must either put out, (for a wedding ring) or push on.

Q: My sister had sex with my boyfriend. I am very upset with her and am thinking about never speaking to her again. He is to blame too, but she was coming on to him so he finally gave in.
She doesn't have a boyfriend, and is trying to get mine! Should I forget about her for good?

A: You are focusing the majority of your anger in the wrong direction. You sister was as wrong as 2 left shoes for sexing your man, BUT... he was wrong too.
Understand this. You will know your sister all of your life. Boyfriends come and go, that's why you're with this boyfriend, and not your previous one.

Forgive your sister, forget your current boyfriend. If he cheated once, there's a huge possibility that he will cheat again. In this day and age, don't go for that --- no can do.

Q: My boyfriend never tells me he loves me unless he wants to have sex. On one hand I believe he loves me, but on the other hand he only says it when he wants some. How can I know for sure?

A: You will have a pretty good idea that he loves you when he tells you he loves you out of the blue and just because.

Q: My boyfriend & I have been together for 9 months. I don't understand him at all. He is always accusing me of messing around when there is not enough time in the day for me to mess around.
I love him much but I am tired of the constant accusing. What do I do? I am getting to the point now where as I am not happy. He is driving me away. Do I hang in there & try to make it work or throw in the towel?

A: One of two things is happening. Either boyfriend is extremely insecure in this relationship *OR* boyfriend is extremely guilty because he is messing around. You should not be unhappy in a relationship, that defeats the purpose.

Don't throw in the towel just yet. I'd suggest that you have a heart to heart talk with your man in a neutral location ... NOT the bedroom. Explain to him that you love him and that you are not cheating on him. Discuss where the two of you presently are in this relationship and where you'd like to see it go. If his vision for the future of this relationship isn't similar to yours, there may not be a future for this relationship. Don't worry, fret or get upset over this issue because what will be --- will be.

Q: I am a married male age 62 and I have a GREAT interest in having oral sex with other men. I have done this a few times and I like it. My wife of 15 years does not do oral sex. Should I continue to have sex with these selected males (very selected) or not?

A: Not. Sex with any male, selected or not is gay sex. I'm sure your wife doesn't realize that you're engaging in gay extramarital sex.
C'mon now, at 62 years of age I 'm sure you know you may be putting yourself and your wife at higher risk of contracting a S.T.D., including A.I.D.S.

Is it worth it? I thought not.

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