Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Date Rater. After the date?

Use the Date Rater Test in two different ways:

  • First way: you’ve just gone out with a frog or duckling who could be a prince or swan princess. Take the test after the date to determine if you want to go out again. Could you be the dynamic duo?

  • Second way: You’ve been dating someone for awhile. Take the test and see if you should keep her or keep him not?

How to rate each Date Rater question:

0 points

The Big 0. You say to yourself, "I'm out the door." Close your eyes and ask yourself what do you see? Nothing? That's the meaning of this rating. Definite deal breaker.

1 point

Okay you say to yourself.. It's no big deal. You can live with it but you're hoping and wishing for more.

2 points

Good. Deal maker.

3 points

Grrreat! This is as good as it gets. You say to yourself, "Give me more."

Add up your scores up and determine whether he or she is a:

    Frog or Prince

    Duckling or Swan Princess

    *There is no person charming. People are only as charming as you want and let them be.

The Date Rater Test

Does his or her profile match what I want? Yes or No

  • How much do the two profiles match

  • Similar or corresponding core qualities on both profiles

  • Special or intriguing quality

  • Same or similar expectations

  • I am stimulated by this person

  • My interest level. What I think is the other person's interest level

Name and rate his/her best quality

Chemistry. Yes or No

S/he follows the 3 Rs

  • R-e-s-p-e-c-t for self

  • R-e-s-p-e-c-t for others

  • Responsible for own actions, words and thoughts


  • Profile and self-description match the real person

  • Says what's on his/her mind

  • Doesn't play people or mind games

  • Actions are consistent with words spoken


  • It feels comfortable when together

  • Like the same things

  • Rarely at a loss to make conversation

  • Similar beliefs

  • Similar values

  • Similar goals

  • Similar educational level

  • Similar lifestyles

  • Similar interests

  • Similar background


  • Chivalry is alive: he opens doors, pulls out my chair, helps me on with my coat

  • He insists on paying

  • He calls the next day

  • She returns my calls promptly

  • She doesn't play by superficial "rules"

  • She makes a big deal about whatever I do

  • What she does makes me feel good

  • What he does makes me feel valued, treasured, cherished, and special

  • What she does shows me that she admires and respects me

  • He wants to make me happy

  • She wants to make me happy

Emotional Intimacy

  • Can share innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection

  • We connect

  • There's a vulnerability

  • I am emotionally satisfied

  • I feel safe

  • I feel close to him or her

  • We're like two little lovebirds, inseparable

  • I feel distant

  • He or she is distant toward me

Passion. Yes or No


  • I'm satisfied
  • My partner is satisfied
  • My partner cares if I'm satisfied


  • Knows when to hold and when to fold

  • Listens

  • Talks

  • Knows when to shut up

  • Doesn't have to be right all the time

  • Easy flow of conversation

  • Talks with, and to but not at me

  • Respects my feelings


  • Friendship

  • Soul connection

  • Could be or is my soulmate

  • Makes me grow

  • Shows me new realms

  • Makes me laugh

  • It's okay to be who I am


  • She is consistent

  • He is there if and when I need him


Level of trust

What stage is the relationship in according to you? According to your partner?

Red Flags

  • How many?

  • What are they?

  • How important are they?

  • Could they, at some time in the future, be a deal breaker?

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