Calvin Klein is always introducing fabulous new fragrances. Have you noticed that desperation and neediness are never part of his line? Wonder why? Because they are two of the most unattractive qualities. They will either magnetize the wrong people to you or keep away the right ones.
There is a direct correlation between being needy and desperate. The more needy you feel, the more hopeless and desperate you become. Then you start throwing off that negative vibe which then feeds the hopelessness. And, pretty soon you're in a downward spiral that is worse than being in the eye of a tornado.
At one time or another, we all feel needy and desperate. The difference is that some of us stay there, while the rest of us move on in our lives. Victims are volunteers. Victimhood is a choice. So what do you choose? If you've heard me or read my columns, you know you always have a choice about how you feel and your attitude. You don't always have a choice about what happens to you, but you always can choose how you respond to the situation, circumstance or person. In any given situation, what do you want? To be right (about whatever you want to be right about) or be happy? Do you want to be right that you are unlovable (which results in being needy) and there are no good guys or gals left (which results in desperation) or do you want to be happy? To be happy means you think and believe in yourself enough to allow someone to love you. And when you allow love into your life you will attract love into your life.
In order to stop being needy and stop being desperate you must believe that you are lovable and that you can attract a wonderful person in your life. You've read a gazillion times on this site, Becky says, "You don't get what you want, you only get what you believe you can have." And, as Oprah says, "You become what you believe - not what you wish or want, but what you truly believe. Wherever you are in you life, look at your beliefs. They put you there."
The following are several quotes about "belief." Read them. It's my hope that they will help you turn on the light inside yourself. Once that light is on, you'll start being more positive and sending out more positive energy. You'll have a more positive vibe about you.
"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible." -- Richard M. DeVos
"When you absolutely believe in yourself and your ability to succeed, nothing will stop you." -- Brian Tracy
"Success is not what you think it is...it is what you believe it is...and most never believe..." -- Doug Firebaugh
Once you start having a more positive vibe about you, you will definitely start attracting different kinds of men and women into your life and creating different situations and circumstances. And then your hormones will start producing different pheromones. Pheromones are the sexual signal transmitters in the body. They are chemicals the body produces. These chemicals influence sexual attraction - who you are attracted to and who is attracted to you. These hormones cause another person to respond to you in a particular way and affect how you respond to someone.
In their book, Sex Lover's Book of Lists, authors Ron Louis and David Copeland, talk about pheromones, and correctly point out that if you have the right pheromones, you can attract anyone. That's great, but very few of us have the right pheromones all the time. The problem or challenge is that you "can't count on having the right pheromones when you want them." So the authors suggest that you "might want to improve on Mother Nature" and surround yourself with the following essential oils, candles or incense:
Cedar, frankincense, ginger, jasmine, magnolia, myrrh,
patchouli, rose, sandalwood, vanilla, ylang-ylang
Change your beliefs and Mother Nature will come along for the ride. Remember the commercial slogan it's not nice to fool Mother Nature? You have my permission that, while you're working on your beliefs, to use some of those scents to reinforce your attracting power. Let me know which ones work for you.
Be a magnet this week and attract, attract, attract. Remember what Becky says, "Just because you attract someone and go out with them doesn't mean you have to start picking out china patterns."